Flat Hair
by hazelmom
Summary: Episode Tag to 12 x 08 Semper Fortis. A bit of McAbby angst.


A/N: Life's too crazy for much writing. And when I get inspired, I have McAbby stuck in my craw. While I realize that's a polarizing combination for folks, your muse can only take you where she takes you. I hope you are all healthy and well.

Sheila

Flat Hair

McGee studied his face in the mirror behind the bar. He wasn't a conventionally handsome man. He'd been described as cute, even sweet faced. Never handsome. Tony once told him his hair was too flat to be truly handsome. He said that a man can get away with most anything with a thick head of hair.

He usually didn't think about these things. It was beneath him to be vain about his looks. He recognized that being physically healthy was what was important…especially since Delilah. He reserved what little vanity he allowed himself to be about his intelligence. As long as his intellect stayed sharp, he'd deal with flat hair.

"Hey Tim. Thanks for meeting me."

Still, he couldn't control the hitch in his smile as the genetically blessed Burt took the stool next to him. "What are you drinking? I'll buy the next round."

McGee shook his head. "Only one on a school night. Those are my rules."

"Yeah, that's why I'm so grateful to you. I didn't know Abby had any. Telling me about those black roses really saved my hide. I could tell she was starting to back away and I didn't have a clue as to what I needed to do."

"You're a good guy, and Abby's rules are funny. There's no way for you to know how to keep her happy. It wasn't really fair to you."

"I really owe you."

"It's okay," McGee said. He signaled the bartender for a glass of water. "How was your date? I'm sort of surprised you ended it so early."

"It was great. We had dinner at a little café near the zoo and went to a lecture on the mating habits of hippos. She eats that stuff up."

"Oh yeah," he smiled. "That's Abby."

"We talk for hours. I always hate to say good-bye."

He glanced at the clock. "And yet you're here with me at 10:30 p.m. at night."

Burt furrowed his brow. "I'm just trying to take it slow. I want to do this right."

A muscle twitched in McGee's face. "You're pretty serious about her, aren't you?"

Burt smiled, reminding McGee of a Navy recruiting poster. "It's a little early to say much. I get the feeling that if I push too hard, too fast, she'll run."

"Copy that," McGee said, nodding.

"You do know, don't you? Abby hasn't really said anything, but the way she talks tells me that you're really special to her…like really special."

"Oh yeah," he cleared his throat. "That was a long time ago. We were kids. Well, I was, certainly. A long time ago."

Burt studied him. "You got hurt?"

Tim stiffened. "It was a long time ago, Burt."

"And now?"

"We're friends. Good friends. The best kind of friends…but only friends."

Burt looked down at the beer in front of him. "I know I'm asking you real personal questions, Tim. I know that, but I got a lot at stake here, and I need to know if I am not the only player in the game."

McGee stared into the bar mirror for a long moment. Then he turned to Burt. "I just want her to be happy, Burt. You think you're the guy for that?"

…

The phone rang and Tony groaned, rolling over and reaching for it. He planted it on his face. "Callout?...Wha?...Huh?...No! You're not serious? Oh my God!"

Tony sat up straight, grinning into the phone. "I love it!...No, I mean, it's just that's it's funny…Okay, okay. I got it. I got it, Boss!"

…

"I'll have another," McGee said, his words running together as he pushed the shot glass toward the bartender.

The husky man sighed and leaned his forearms on the bar. "You and I have a deal, remember? You give me your car keys and I'll set up another shot."

"I know, but I got it figured out. We discussed my new plan, right?"

"No, we did not."

"H-here's…the plan," McGee leaned toward him. "In…a few min- hours, I'll take a cab to work. I'll sleep at my desk. Done it before. Then…in the morning, I'll start working." He threw his hands up. "Simple!"

The bartender's eyes drifted to the silver-haired man who took the stool next to McGee. "What'll you have?"

"Kentucky bourbon, neat."

The man nodded and stepped back. McGee turned his head. "Boss. What's…you don't need…I got a plan. My…plan is to…get a cab and sleep at my desk…in the morning, I'll just work like…ah…new again. It's…a good plan."

"I can't wait for that," Gibbs said as he slid a twenty toward the bartender. "Bring a coffee for my friend here."

McGee's head whipped around. "You brought a friend?"

The bartender slid the cup toward him. McGee blinked. "I'm your friend, Boss?"

"Drink."

McGee slurped at the stale brew. The bartender nodded at another newcomer and Tony sat on the stool on the other side of McGee. "Hey, I thought this was my mission."

Gibbs took a long draw off his bourbon. "I got curious as to why one of my people called the agent in charge and demanded a BOLO be put out on Abby's new boyfriend."

McGee frowned at the coffee. "It's…not a big thing. I just need him to return something."

Tony ignored him and looked over at Gibbs. "Tell me the BOLO was cancelled?"

"Please," Gibbs said. "Fergus has enough sense to call me rather than send it out."

Tony accepted a Guinness Stout and looked at his partner. "What does Burt have that you want returned?"

McGee shook his head sharply. "I don't…want to talk about it."

Tony sighed and shook his head at Gibbs.

The bartender leaned back against the till, arms folded. "He gave the good looking fella a piece of paper before he left."

McGee lifted his head and glared at the man.

Tony looked at McGee. What piece of paper?"

"I didn't want to talk about it," McGee murmured.

Tony stared at him for a long moment. "You gave him Abby's rules, didn't you?"

Gibbs looked at the ceiling.

Tony sighed. "Of course. Now, it makes sense as to why you would need to send the entire law enforcement community on the Eastern Seaboard after Burt. He has the rules and you want them back."

"I should never have given them to him."

Gibbs frowned. "You could've just called him."

McGee stared down at his coffee. "He would've wanted to know why."

"Yeah, sending law enforcement to his home for a piece of paper would've never raised questions."

McGee blinked hard as he concentrated on that idea.

Gibbs looked at Tony. "These rules are what I think they are, right?"

Tony nodded.

Gibbs took a deep breath and reached for his bourbon.

"Tim, it's not the worst thing in the world. I mean, you care a lot about Abby's happiness. Maybe, Burt's the right guy for her."

"Yeah, I guess so," he sighed. "Maybe, he's the guy she's been waiting for all these years." Then his eyes settled on the Guinness, and Tony moved it out of his reach.

"Tim, have you ever questioned these 'big brother' feelings of yours?"

McGee swung his head to Gibbs. "Boss, you know I don't have…feeeeelings for her."

Gibbs started to speak but caught sight of Tony shaking his head wildly. He stopped and patted him on the back. "You need to get some sleep, Tim."

"Just drop me off at the office. I got a fresh shirt in my go bag."

"Yeah, right. Why don't you hit the head before we go." Gibbs urged him off the stool, and McGee swayed wildly for a moment, but somehow righted himself and stumbled toward the restroom.

Gibbs shook his head. "Usually, I think he's the easy one to deal with, and then he gets stubborn about something and…I don't know what to think."

"You better let me handle him."

"Oh, yeah. You're an expert on matters of the heart."

Tony's brows went up. "With all due respect, Boss, you're not exactly a success story."

Gibbs laughed. "McGee isn't in good hands with either one of us."

Tony snorted and picked up his beer. "Well, we're all he's got."

"We should make him see the truth."

"He already knows. Why do you think he won't talk about it?"

Gibbs grunted. "This is why rule 12 exists."

"Yeah, it's a great rule. Works out every time," Tony mumbled.

"Just cause I ain't slapped you in a while…"

"Can one of you guys drop me at the office?"

They turned to find McGee there with his shirt out of his pants and one sleeve completely wet. His hair was in wild disarray.

"What's up with your hair?"

"It was really flat," he said casually. "I'm ready to go."

"You're going home, Tim."

"I dunno, Boss. I might oversleep if I do that." McGee said, trying to roll up the offending sleeve.

"You're taking a half day. Tony will come and get you for the afternoon."

"You sure?"

"I am more than sure, McGee," Gibbs said firmly.

McGee stared at the ground for a moment, and they watched him wage an internal battle. Then he looked up. "How do I get the list back?"

Tony got off his stool and put his arm around McGee. "McRomeo, stop worrying about the list. I don't think that list means as much to Abby as you think it does."

"It just seems like I gave him all the answers. A person that looks like Burt shouldn't be given all the answers."

"I got a plan."

"You do?" McGee looked at Tony.

"I do."

"What is it?"

"It's 'need to know'. You're under the influence right now so we'll discuss it later."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Okay."

"Go out to the car. The Boss and I need to settle up."

Gibbs watched him swerve toward the front door. "He's going to remember you said that."

Tony grabbed his coat. "And I'm going to come up with one."

"Really?"

"He's my probie. If he needs a plan, I'll make one." Tony reached for his wallet, but Gibbs put up a hand.

"I got it. Go out there and keep him from passing out in parking lot."

Tony headed out and Gibbs looked to the bartender. "What's the final tally?"

The man shook his head. "This last round was on me. He was a nice kid and I always got a soft spot for a fella with a broken heart."

Gibbs nodded. "I think we all do."

…..

The End


End file.
